Welcome to my mind...

Well here we are again, ehy?!

2007-11-19T09:04:41Z

Today is the 19th of November, and all I can basically tell you is that the past five months have flown before my eyes. July 6th, I began to embark a new lifestyle, originally at first and after awhile a friend had decided to accompany me. The beginning of our trip was rough, which of coarse is a bad omen. We missed our scheduled arrival and ended up staying in Houston Texas over night with a stranger, little did we know, but this was an experience opening our eyes to the new industry we would endure. The next day we were reluctant to fall through on a standby ticket, our first lesson with airlines, and make it to Portland, Oregon. We then proceeded to baggage where we found out one of mine was lost, another bad sign. Piled into a van and met the people who we soon became very good friends with, Ryan and Ben. Wide eyed, and curious we took our keys upon arrival and scurried to apartment 42. Mixed feelings ran though us. This was it. Close to half a year in our new home. Roommates- Brianna, Brittney, Dara, and Katie. We were so ready to explore the neighborhood. How can I ever forget Grocery Outlet, Albertsons, Fred Myers, Winco etc. Our first group of friends, Ben, Dara, Hailey, Ryan, Danielle, Ann Marie... first day of school we got assigned teachers and I could not tell you how upset I was that our teacher was new. What if he doesn't teach well enough, and we fail?! How wrong I could ever be. Our class started with thirty somewhat people. 0707/804. Now after 5 months 20 have made it. Lisa, Janet, Ben, Leana, Miss Annette, Janine, Marla, Anny, Kita, Krystal, LeeLee, Alain, Dalia, Valeria, Tyisha, Yelena, Myra, Laura, Heather, Cherinese. . . To be continued maybe?!

chaoticserenity @ 2007-10-21T13:59:00

2007-10-21T18:01:08Z

Haven't been on this thing in ages, huh? Well, I'm in Vancouver Washington right now, and I'll start by saying life has never been so hard. I'm miserable out here, and the days are getting tougher and tougher. I have 10 dollars to my name for the next 2 weeks....thirty someodd days until I'm home...

chaoticserenity @ 2006-12-16T17:05:00

2006-12-16T22:05:50Z

Hey guys its me again

2006-10-25T03:11:58Z

So, First question: Who actually still reads this?
I actually went back and read all the entries I've posted on october 23, since 2002.
Four years ago, I was 15. Youngin'
I wish I could go back, and know half of what I know now.
(You think that didn't make sense huh?)
I need to be free and love life once again.
It's been so long since I've been with old friends who make me smile.
I need that desperately.

I'm bored of coming back to LJ.

chaoticserenity @ 2006-09-17T18:03:00

2006-09-17T22:03:14Z

kiss my ass, please.

I don't understand

2006-03-19T23:27:53Z

I have never understood why the world has been so corrupt, and backwards. Maybe that's what life really is. Full of bullshit. Tell me why when people mess up their whole lives and straighten out sooner or later, they never get a break? Where's god when you need him. My father went to the hospital and has something wrong with his heart. My brothers on his own and rather not deal with us anymore, that leaves me and my mother- the alcoholic. You'd think that with all thats going on and my fathers heart at stake- she'd sober up and try to be there for us. Instead drinks more, causes more problems, and falls into a spiral of complete and utter failure. I'm a different story I'm one step away from growing up to be exactly like her, and it definately is the easy way out to just drink and pretend like there's nothing going on around you. I have to make my own decision and take on a whole life I never asked for and take care of two 40 year old kids and financially support a household. Do you know how hard this is? To feel your whole world slipping away? To not have anytime to get my own life back in order? To be born in a world where all you've ever wanted was the love of a family but all you ever get is everything but? Well this is my story and stay tuned folks because when my story is over, you'll see how it is for a teenage girl to either save the day, or completely collapse and fail into the life of drugs and alcohol.....

Talk about heart.
If anyone has anything negative to say you can go shove it up your ass.

chaoticserenity @ 2006-02-10T02:26:00

2006-02-10T07:35:05Z

I'll write these words in memory of you, and all you've done.

Well, Valentines is around the corner, and of coarse- instead of someone showing/proving they love me on that day I'm being avoided. Normally, taken or not, I love valentines, but this year. Alone. Forgotten about. Unimportant. Too Skinny. Disporportioned. Invisible.

If family sucks, and you're not loved ... what do you got?

I guess it was a true prediction that we can't be friends,
so why would we screw up a friendship on something that was too much to fix.
so bite the bullet, and bite it hard.
because as hard as it is for me,
I'm gone.
and I can finally say, I've done everything I could've.

"I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you"

this isnt the first time

2005-01-11T22:11:17Z

Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you
the angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air between the rain
through myself and back again
Where? I don't know
Maria says she's dying
through the door I hear her crying
Why? I don't know
[Chorus]
Round here we always stand up straight
Round here something radiates
Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand
she said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis
she walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land
just like she's walking on a wire in the circus
she parks her car outside of my house
takes her clothes off
says she's close to understanding Jesus
she knows she's just a little misunderstood
she has trouble acting normal when she's nervous
[Chorus:]
Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands
Sleeping children better run like the wind
out of the lightning dream
Mama's little baby better get herself in
out of the lightning
She says It's only in my head
She says Shhh I know it's only in my head
But the girl in car in the parking lot
says "Man you should try to take a shot
can't you see my walls are crumbling?"
Then she looks up at the building
and says she's thinking of jumping
She says she's tired of life
Everybodies tired of something, Round here
she's always on my mind
Round here hey man got lots of time
Round here we're never sent to bed early
And nobody makes us wait
Round here we stay up very, very, very, very late

i can't see nothing, nothing
Round here
would u catch me if i was falling?
would u catch me if i was leaving?
hold me cuz I'm lonely without you?
Said I wonder, Round here
Man I said I'm lonely without you.
And I can't see nothing, nothing
Round here.

chaoticserenity @ 2004-11-29T21:09:00

2004-11-30T02:14:28Z

------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it (or link to it) as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

chaoticserenity @ 2004-06-22T17:25:00

2004-06-22T21:33:31Z

Top Commenters on chaoticserenity's LiveJournal

1	chaoticserenity	74
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4	Anonymous	22
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ok guys..

2003-11-17T15:09:44Z

Due to the recent fad of EvErYoNe having Lisa's livejournal, I'm going to change it to friends only...If your not on my friendslist, well thats your bad...lol

good times..

2003-11-16T06:22:38Z

Good nights can't be repeated<3

the numbskulls<3

2003-11-15T19:17:20Z

What a waste of time doing the right thing,
the quote unquote right thing,
to hell with the master plan,
I dont think the rules apply to me.
Gonna drink a lot,
gonna smoke a lot,
gonna be reckless,
even if it kills me,
life’s a waste of time if you dont know youre alive,
the end is gonna come anyways.

CHORUS:
Live fast or not at all,
live fast live fast live fast,
(hey hey hey)
you know, I wanna die young,
Live fast or not at all,
live fast live fast live fast,
(hey hey hey)
you know, I wanna die young.

Build up your defense against the American dream,
or smother in successes,
walled up in picket fences,
finance this circus or mortgage your life away,
or you're gonna ride this out,
sit back and watch it burn,
shaking the hand,
as it apeases?
The artificial smiles,
this boring sitcom that I see,
all the lies that become your legacy.

-CHORUS-

The easy way out,
is the way that they produce us,
then once in power,
that’s when they consume us,
trapped us in this cycle with no way out,
And then they humor us with freedom?

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-15T12:51:00

2003-11-15T17:59:25Z

Yesterday was fun, and today I hope will be fun-ner, I just got out of the shower and I'm brushing my teef lol. I talked to Omar but he got me mad, he was all "I'm with two HOT girls" and started ignoring me so I hung up but now he's text messaging me and its all better. My hairs all wavy cuz I havent brushed it yet and um I dont know how Im gonna do my hair.. I'll call John and ask him.. I called John last night while I was napping and I don't remember what I said but John told me the conversation went like : Me: "hello?!" John: "yeah.. whats up?" Me:::in whiney voice::".....No one wants to hang out tonight" John:"so go out and walk around and people will come" Me:"no they wont!!" John: "are you ok" Me: "IM SLEEPING!!!" and then I hung up on him... go figure..anyway yeah. Im just babbling. um -gonna call people -make lunch -get my laundry together -work out -eat dinner and -go out! bye<3

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-14T23:33:00

2003-11-15T04:37:17Z

Fun Fun Night Tonight was.<3
Theres nothing special to you, everyone just follows others desires, well let me tell you.. I wont be mindless anymore.

They said...

2003-11-13T21:44:55Z

"It's time to sleep"

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-12T16:52:00

2003-11-12T21:54:30Z

Cha0tic Serenity: u kno wat i just realized
____: wat
Cha0tic Serenity: u were never mean to me
____: naturally
Cha0tic Serenity: aww <33

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-11T18:28:00

2003-11-11T23:33:20Z

Today was a bummer... Did pretty much nothing but ate, so far. Oh, I watched Joe Dirt.. good movie. This is all.. Bye<3

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-11T17:46:00

2003-11-11T22:50:16Z

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Natalie Portman
Who will play your love interest:	Tobey Maguire
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	17
Song that will play during your love scene:	Morcheeba - Love Sweet Love
Song that will play during your death:	Prince - 1999
Your name:

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Ashton Kutcher
Who will play your love interest:	Jennifer Lopez
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	4
Song that will play during your love scene:	Wilco - Reservations
Song that will play during your death:	Poe - Haunted
Your name:

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-10T18:40:00

2003-11-10T23:43:57Z

We don't make memories like we used too</3

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-09T23:47:00

2003-11-10T04:50:31Z

If you promise you wont leave, I'll only hold on tighter..<3

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-09T08:53:00

2003-11-09T13:58:44Z

oh and not to be funny but i cant find my pants either...
(lol i took them off last night and dont know where they are now..)

ok wanna hear a bad situation...?

2003-11-09T13:57:01Z

well i got really drunk and my brothers really cool party yesterday.. but umm i kinda drank too much of everything and got a lil TOO drunk, i've never drank that much and i was never that drunk before.. i was throwing up discustingly... um my brother took me home but only to leave me there with a bowl next to my bed um yeah so i woke up just now and my parents are already awake my brothers not home and i can't find my cell phone or my insulin.... i hope my brother has it because.. soon my mom and dad are gonna tell me to take it and what am i goonna say? im planning on telling them i left it with anthony.. but i cant get in touch with him because hes probably in chris' basement and theres no service down there.. i wanna call chris' house and ask if he's there and then when he comes on the phone ask for my brother.. im NERVIOUSSSSS lol i hope my brother has my cell and my medicine cuz if he doesnt my ass is grass.

last night was fun...

2003-11-08T17:26:18Z

hahahah last night was fun i cant believe me and sam ran together with our shirts off...god i feel so insecure now lol. um jono! jono's baddddd he showed everyone his penis and ughhh it was just something i didnt wanna see lol. oh and since i was wearin boxer briefs i thought itd be ok to walk around in them so i did for like 2 seconds and *someone* (he shall remain nameless) pull the back of my undies down and people saw my ass lol.. i love everyone i was with last night... you guys are awesome... um AMB party tonight... AMB = my brother and his friend's "frat party" stands for Alpha Masta Beta lol. so thats gonna be fun I HOPE! anyway umm yea.... talked to mike last night.. we're gonna meet in the city on monday! its the first time in 2 years! ahhh lol old times good times... right now i couldnt be more happy
I LOVE EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
cept for you... (jk) <33333

chaoticserenity @ 2003-11-07T23:46:00

2003-11-08T04:48:33Z

im drunk and i love everyone